MySchoolMemoirs: Twenty Five into Four by two equals to Hundred!

Venue: GBHSS, 635001, 10th Standard 'A' Section

Date: Someday in 1987

I bet all of us would have encountered a teacher with unbelievably skewed mind. And this story is about one you could never imagine. A strange Arithmetic taught to us by the Tamil teacher!

Monthly tests were conducted for all subjects except Tamil and the class teacher followed up with our Tamil teacher Mr. Vairam (Name Changed). He just did not comply and the class teacher was forced to report it to the head master.

Mr. Vairam was summoned.

Before getting into the story few lines on Mr.Vairam's attitude so that you can come to terms with what awaits.

Tamil would be the first period and our class of over hundred would keep shouting until he enters. And everyday he would take enormous pleasure in beating all hundred of us for shouting. Without fail he had beaten us, painfully on the palms,  on all school days.

I used to plead with my friends in vain.

"Daily adi vaangareengale, soranaiye illiyada. Konjam amaithiya irungada. (You guys get beaten everyday don't you have any sense)"

But even while enduring the  pain, myself and Vinod would eagerly turn around and  wait to laugh at the funny faces when the back row gets beaten. Few of the facial expressions would be really funny! Thinking about it, even now, I get a hearty laughter. Funny adolescent mind!

After being summoned by HM Mr. Vairam  enters the class and says.

"Ellarum notela oru paper kizhichikittu marathadikku vaangada!(All of you tear a sheet from your notebook and assemble under the tree!) "

We had a huge banyan tree and we were asked to spread in its shade. We did comply.

Mr.Vairam says "Ellarum 5  thirukkuralum kadavul vazhtum ezhuthunga. (Write four couplets and a prayer poem)"

We were given 15 mins and we do complete the test  happily. So Simple!

Mr. Vairam says "Pakathula irukavan kitta papera kudungada! Oru thirukkuralukku 4 mark, kadavul vazhthukku 5 mark. Motham 25 mark. Neengale thiruthikkonga (Exchange your paper with your friend and each couplet carries 4 marks and the prayer poem 5. Totally 25. Correct it yourself)"

The papers were corrected by us and the marks were summed up.

What follows is a perfect example of a skewed and sadistic mind.

Mr. Vairam continues "Vanguna marka naalaala perukunga da (Multiply your marks by 4)"

We happily complied with. I got 17 out of 25 and hence the score was 68%.

And came the sadism

"Rendaala vaguthudunga (Divide it by two)"

Unanimously we exclaimed "Ayyaaaa (Sir)! "

Most of us who scored below 18/25 failed. There were only 4 or 5 who passed.

This was the mark shared with the class teacher and recorded in the progress report.

No parent would believe this. Many of our parents didn't. But one of the parents, dad of Simon, reported it to the HM.

And Simon was targeted in every class with sarcasm and if I remember it right, whatever he wrote, he was awarded full marks in Tamil then on.

Few teachers are remembered fondly. Sad that teachers like Mr.Vairam are remembered the otherwise.

Copyright © 2017 by Kavi Venkatesan

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